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6025 Gardena Lane - Where it is Always 1995

 

 

"6025 GARDENA LANE - WHERE IT IS ALWAYS 1995"

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6025 gARDENA

(Photo is 6025 Gardena Lane - Summer mid - 1990"s)

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6025 Gardena Lane - Where it is Always 1995

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Here dwelled together June and Stan...

And the Year is always nineteen ninety five!

June's memory and spirit provide a presence...

And a presence that will never die.

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How very near June seems, yet so very far...

In that age before the world went all awry.

The laughter of the holiday joys can still be heard...

For all whose ears are attuned to catch the distant time.

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As the night descends on Gardena Lane...

The setting sun bathes the hillside in a golden glow.

To the nostalgic mind, June's voice very softly...

In awe can still be heard: "Isn't it so beautiful."

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A lonely jogger strains against the hill.

Here, though the world explode, these two survive...

And the year is always nineteen ninety five.
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Stan Berg - July 4th 2006

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Winter 1998 6025 Gardena Lane

(6025 Gardena Lane in Winter mid- 1990's)

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For most Americans the 4th of July means American Independence Day and a happy holiday, but since July 4th 2006 it has been a day of sad memories for me…it was a day of suffering for June. I was called early that morning by the Benedictine Villa to tell me that June had suffered a grand-mal seizure. It was the third seizure June had experienced after her journey into the late stages of her Alzheimer’s, disease. June was in her 10th year of Alzheimer’s. I thought the seizures had been controlled with medication after the first two in the prior year. Anyone who has witnessed a loved one with such a seizure knows the horror of it. The body gets rigid and shakes uncontrollably from muscle spasms, consciousness is lost. Compound that with the Alzheimer’s victim’s inability to understand and further couple it with the normal daily fear experienced in the late stages of the disease. When the victim regains consciousness they are physically exhausted, confused and fearful.

Later in the day of July 4th 2006, as June was sleeping, and in my sadness, I drove to the Sofitel Hotel. My hope was that I would be able to recapture a glimpse of some of June and my earlier happy days in the lobby of that Hotel. In the old days we would sit at one of the lobby tables and have a glass of our favorite wine, a fruit-cheese plate with French bread and “people watch”.

The trauma of the morning did not allow that to happen. Instead, I sought refuge in writing a poem about June and our home at 6025 Gardena Lane with a time setting of a few years before Alzheimer’s took over our lives. The year selected was 1995.

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June and Stan in San Diego 1995

 (June and Stan in San Diego - 1995)

 

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Why the year 1995 - It was a great year in which the word "Alzheimer's" was never a part of our vocabulary. There was no 9/11 mentality loose in our world. Although we did not go to London that year, we did have a grand travel time in connection with forensic activities.

We spent a (1.) February week at Seattle, Washington in connection with the American Academy of Forensic Science. (AAFS) We spent a (2.) week in June in San Diego, California with the forensic firearms group. (AFTE) July found us in in (3.) Costa Mesa, California for a week with the International Association for Identification. (IAI) That fall in (4,) September we had a fun week in Alexandria, Minnesota with the Minnesota State Forensic Group. (Minnesota Division of IAI)

 

We later hosted the Holidays at 6025 as was our custom for many years. It was a year in which the smile that would light up June's entire face was ever present. 

I have heard June comment on so many occasions as we sat together in the kitchen in the late afternoon, looking down across the lawn and the hillside:

"Isn't it so beautiful."

 

Even as June later struggled with Alzheimer's, she appreciated God's beauty when I seemed to be blind or overlooked it.

June always loved our home at 6025 Gardena Lane more than any other home we have ever owned...this was our third house or home that we owned but the first one in which June and I participated to the extent of selecting the lot on a hillside, participating in the design of the semi-split level plans and watched it being built. We both lived in this home for almost 40 years before Alzheimer's took June away. Almost without fail, as June and I would back our car down the sloping driveway and into the street, June would look back at our home and remark:

"We have such a nice Home"

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June 1994

 (June in front of down stair's office Fireplace December 1994)

 

The home was not especially deluxe, but we did have two real brick fireplaces, one on each level and a living room with a series of five tall large windows that overlooked the hillside.

June loved the home...what a sad day when June left our home forever to finish out her remaining days in a nursing home...16 March 2005...her 8th year of Alzheimer's.

Now, whenever I back our car out of the driveway, I again hear her words: "We have such a nice Home!"

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(June sleeping - upper level fireplace -  family cat "Wumpy" resting on her. (Ca. 1970) 

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June Sleeping

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June's first Alzheimer's symptoms appeared in the year 1997...

Eventually June's Alzheimer's  her proper care would be far beyond what I could manage for her alone in our home.

On 16 March 2005, (8th year) June was placed in the care of an Alzheimer's facility.

On 23 October 2008, (12th Year) June passed away from the complications of this terrible disease Alzheimer's.

June was and will always be, the love and light of Stan's life.

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June and Ellen Christmas time

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Photo above is Mother Ellen and June by the Christmas Tree in the year 2000. This was the last time June was able to trim the Christmas Tree as she was then in the 3rd year of her Alzheimer's.

 

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Reader's Comments

Ada Padron Criscione - Edgewater, New Jersey - (5 July 2012): "Stanton you have a gift for sharing a story. So many times I read what you have written and I am totally taken to another place. This morning I was transported to 6025 Gardena Lane. Thank you for sharing"

Christine Walend - Lorain, Ohio - (5 July 2012): "I thank you for sharing this, Stanton. My mom has suffered 2 seizures..one in February, one in April. The first one that she had, they thought it was a possible stroke, posible seizure? She ended up in the hospital for a few days for testing..., since it was her 1st one and she has a pacemaker and existing heart problems? Turns out it was not her heart. Your page is very informative for me, I "thank you" so much for all you have done to help people understand this dreadful disease."

Jan Burns - Great Wyrley, United Kingdom - (9 August 2012):"A very moving poem Stan, your explanation about your experiences and the creation of the poem gives the reader an insight into what life was like for you and June - how lucky you were you to have found each other."

Kathy Guess - Kalamazoo, Michigan - (9 August 2012): "Thank You For Sharing Stanton very interesting about you and you lovely wife June's life and great poem !!"

Sheri DuBro Alpert - Englewood, Ohio - (2 October 2012):"Your posts are always so beautiful and touching. My mom and dad just celebrated their 53rd anniversary last week. It broke my heart thinking of my dads thoughts. A woman he loved his whole life in at the ending stages. We cherish every moment we have with her now and memories from the past. I pray for a cure everyday. For myself, siblings and children. You inspire me daily."

Dianne Cogar - Springfield, Ohio - (4 October 2012): "I love this song though it is so very sad. It makes me stop to think about this myself, "Who Will Watch The Home Place."...(4 July 2013):Beautiful Poem."

Sandra Lynn Valentin-Mitchell - Chicago, Illinois - (7 October 2012): "We often think of all this..., as there really isn't anyone to take care of anything for us! So we just say, "What will be will be". Very sad though, when we look around at everything that is now ours and has personal meaning..."I'm so sorry for your hurt,...June and you were so fortunate to have each other!"

Laura Carter - Stoke-on-Trent, United Kingdom - (8 October 2012): "My family have been thinking about this with the onset of grandads Alzheimer's. We promised him we would keep him in his home, a place full of memories of nan for him. My mum will stay there when the time comes but I don't know if I could. I like to think that the memories we make are worth so much more than the possessions we have. I hope you are ok. I love reading about your life with June. You were both very lucky to have found your soul mates."

Amy Stiel Almas - Waterford, Michigan - (4 July 2013): "God Bless you, Stan! Thank you for being the advocate you are. June would be so proud!"

Terry Ferlas - Cottage Grove, Minnesota - (4 July 2013):"Oh, I just love it Stan!"

Buddy Bear (Maura) - Dublin, Ireland - (4 July 2013): "Stan those seizures are awful to witness my mother has suffered a number of them over the years, very frightening to watch. That is a beautiful poem. The photo of you and June is Beautiful, a very handsome couple."

Gill Denman - Essex, United Kingdom - (4 July 2013): "Stan. This is a very special post, it taps into a few things which may well give those of us who are facing these things some insight that we didn't have, also it has the emotions reflecting back that we feel. The seizures I didn't know about, but make a lot of sense. Also that feeling of how apart you are from the world when horrors strike. I remember going to a funeral of a close friend not too many years ago, someone in the car said to me that we were surrounded by life going on as normal, we were in a bubble where our link to the outside had been broken. It felt as though an invisible wall had been constructed around us. Try to have a peaceful and reflective July 4, try to relax and enjoy, easy for me to say, I know, it isn't me experienceing it, but I do have some insight. I do want you to be able to enjoy the holiday."

Bernadette Barbour - Jupiter Island, Florida - (4 July 2013): "I love that poem Stanton. June is home and free from all that. Try not to remember it (I know it's hard) and meditate with those Beautiful memories. Still watching my Mum, she is off nearly all meds now and hardly ever gets a seizure anymore, TG. Enjoy your 4th of July Stan."

Alzheimer Society of Newfoundland and Labrador, Inc., - Canada - (4 July 2013): "Thank you so much for sharing! We really appreciate your experience and input. -Amelia White, Events Coordinator."

Martina Kaut - Furtwangen, Germany - (4 July 2013): "You touched my soul, with every word ... thank you Stanton O. Berg for sharing with us."

Mary Berneche - Roseville, Minnesota - (4 July 2013): "Stan, a beautiful poem about a beautiful lady. It shows how very much you loved her."

Marc Francis Roddin - Mountain View, California- (4 July 2013): "Thanks very much for sharing this. My Dad has had Alzheimers for ten years but has not had any seizures. Now I know what we might expect."

Beth Ann Doucette - Lino Lakes, Minnesota - (5 July 2013):"I totally agree with Terry and Mary...Absolutely beautiful!...Thank you for sharing...We are resting after an awesome family 4th and counting our blessings...Take care."

Louise Ann Howard - Batemans Bay, New South Wales, Australia - (3 July 2014):"Oh Stan. I read your article. Will read your poem asap. My brother in law was born today so it is a birthday we never forget. I always remember the 4th July. So sorry to hear about how hard times were for you. I hope today you have a good 4th of July. With comfort happy memories too. Louise."

John Stevens - Twin Falls, Idaho - "Beautiful poem Stan."

Helen Russin - Bridgeport, Ohio - (4 July 2014):"Thanks for sharing your lovely memories and poem, Stan."

KellyDee Ramos - Laveen, Arizona - (4 July 2014):" So beautiful Stanton."

Bonnie Siep - Ottsville, Pennsylvania - (4 July 2014): "Thank you again Mr Berg for sharing a wonderful tear felt love life of your loving wife June & yourself . I am always in tears when I read about your life with June . I know she was a Wonderful Women loved very Much by many who knew her . I never knew June , all though I wish I would of known her . Just by reading what you write about her tells me she was a Gem ..... My heart goes out to you , I can see the Both of you had a Love like no other . You have so many Great Memories of June that No One can Ever take away from you and one day you will be with your beloved June reunited as one again I'm sure she is looking down upon you with a big Beautiful Smile awaiting your arrival back home . I will be thinking of you Mr Berg as always."

Kerry Hunt - Chester, Cheshire, United Kingdom - (3 July 2015):"Beautiful words beautiful pics, but so upset Stan, June's eyes are so alive in these pics, her smile infectious, her love of life is present even in these still Photo's, Or maybe reading your blogs I see June as the person you have so often described? I'm not sure, but one thing I'm sure is I loathe, despise, hate the group of illnesses that bare the group title of dementia. Sending you the best of thoughts, love and blessings for this 4th July from your friend across the pond."

Robbin Moore - Graham, North Carolina - (3 July 2015):"I am in awe of the relationship you and June shared."

Joy Bright - Fairfield County, Ohio - (3 July 2015): "Beautiful Poem Stan,"Lovely Lady,Beautiful Smile!"

Louise Ann Howard - Batemans Bay, New South Wales, Australia - (3 July 2015): "Another wonderful story my mate Stan. God bless."

Diana Perera - Colombo, Sri Lanka - (7 July 2015):"I too am amazed how you arr still very much in love with June. Its so rare in the west. MAY HER SOUL REST IN PEACE.!"

Cindy Fortune Dullum - Blaine, Minnesota - (7 July 2015): "Such a beautiful poem and your memories of June are so dear to your heart. I'm sure she is smiling in heaven as she points to you on earth below, exclaiming "that's my Stan!"

Dianne Cogar - Springfield, Ohio - (7 July 2015): "Such a beautiful, and meaningful poem... every word of this... it truly touched my heart."heart emotion."

Marsha McKneely Ault - Nacogdoches, Texas - (7 July 2015): "You are a poet Stanton. I wish I could knock upon your door and talk to you face to face. Most likely we will never meet face to face, but perhaps in another place, another day--you'll introduce me to your June."

Dona Gondwe - London, United Kingdom - (7 July 2015): "A very painful memory for what is for most Americans a day of celebration. I pray that it wasn't too bad this year. The 1995 poem is moving..."

Vanita Kumta - Mumbai, Maharashtra, India - (7 July 2015): "Prayers to comfort you in your loneliness. Take care she is always with you."

Marsha Mckneely Ault - Nacogdoches, Texas - (3 July 2016):"Tears have filled my eyes with your "transcended in time". Thank you for sharing Stanton."

Angela Brown - Burnley, Lancashire, United Kingdom - (3 July 2016): "So sad Stanton. You look at the picture seeing you both so happy and it can all be snatched away in an instant. I know it was snatched away bit by bit over the years which is all the more cruel but it just shows, you can never tell."

Donna J. Burtch - Bradford, Pennsylvania - (3 July 2016):"Stan, I wish it could remain 1995. Very dear poem."

Ena Castle - Brisbane, Australia - (3 July 2016}: "A poem from the heart Stanton.Blessings for you and June .1995."

Joshua Parrott - Detroit, Michigan - (3 July 2016): "What a great looking couple. See you guys in 1995...Joshua."

Jackie Irving - Liverpool, United Kingdom - (4 July 2016): "How cruel this disease is Stan...it slowly steals the ones we love ...your poem is beautiful and heart wrenching in equal measure ...I hope you got some comfort as well as the heartache in looking back to 1995...you both look so happy in this picture ..thinking of you today and as always will include you in my prayers. Take care and God bless Stan."

Louise Ann Howard - Batemans Bay, New South Wales. Australia - (6 July 2016): " Just read your poem. too many a time i want to escape to another happier time and i do Stan, unfortunately reality returns too quickly but it is lovely to use our imagination to the good of our well being. thinking of you always mate."

 

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June's Passing

June 1994

 

After an almost 12 year journey into the shadows of Alzheimer's, early one morning in late October 2008, an exhausted June felt God's gentle touch on her shoulder and heard the words: "Come Home June!" As June lay like a wounded soldier on a battlefield, it was God's Angels that ushered June into a Heavenly Kingdom to the sound of a chorus of Angels...and into June's new home, a "Mansion on the Hilltop", where there is no pain, nor illness nor tears...June's funeral notice as published in the Minneapolis Star in October 2008 can be seen on this website in the drop down menu under the "In Memoriam" label - just Click on:

 

"June K. (Rolstad) Berg - In Memoriam"