Share this pageMarsha's Poetic Expressions of June's Love and Life
- Details
- Published on Wednesday, 22 July 2015 17:08
- Written by Stanton O. Berg
MARSHA'S POETIC EXPRESSIONS of JUNE'S LOVE, LIFE and HER OWN LIFE
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Marsha McKneely Ault of Nacogdoches, Texas is our featured poet on this page of June's website...Marsha was a school teacher before becoming a wife and a mother…Marsha taught high school Spanish and Junior English…Marsha currently assists her church by teaching early morning seminary subjects.
Marsha who is now a wife (Robert), is also a mother (7 children) and a grandmother (18 grandchildren) with another 3 grandchildren on the way. (As of January 26th, 2019)
Marsha enjoys writing, walking and spending time with her family...
Marsha wrote the first of her many poems when she was a Junior in High School…over the years Marsha has enjoyed writing poems for her family and friends on special occasions and at times of “difficult challenges”. Marsha a Christian, also has had a number of her poems published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in their church publication.
Marsha has kindly written a number of beautiful and touching poems about June that appear on this website…it was my thought that it would be appropriate to gather copies of Marsha’s poems into one location such as this page…this page would then serve as a convenience for visitors, fans, friends and readers, both of Marsha's and of June and of June's website. (Unfortunately, Stan's efforts to collect Marsha's poems all in one place has allowed many to slip through the cracks and thus there are probably as many that were/are a part of other pages on June's website and are not in this collection...this has happened on at least a twenty some or more of her poems!
Marsha also understands Alzheimer's and the care-giving needed for this terrible disease...Marsha was her father's caregiver in the years of his Alzheimer's and his eventual passing...Marsha has also lost two younger brothers and a younger sister so she knows first hand the grief of losing family loved ones...her poems reflect this understanding and knowledge. …Stan Berg – July 2015.
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Marsha is now officially designated as "Marsha McKneely Ault, Honorary Assistant Site Host and Editor" and will serve as a volunteer in charge of this site with responsibility and authority for keeping the site updated. correct errors, keep links operational and make changes in the site to maintain a high level of quality. Marsha has now agreed to take on additional responsibility not only for her own page and site but also will take on new responsibilities as the volunteer in charge of the home page of June's Web site...Marsha will be assisted by our Site and Internet Assistant Katy Chayka...I will always be available for consultation and assistance if needed...
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Stan's Note: (3/6/2019) Since this page was first created in July 2015, approximately 5,900 persons have visited this page.
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Note: The poems by Marsha as found on this page, are all listed in from 1 to 27. The larger the number the older the poem. The Smaller the number the newer the poem..(No. 1 is the newest Poem and will appear as the first displayed in the center of the page) The same is the arrangement in the Table of Contents"...simply scroll down the page to the desired poem or poems.
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TABLE of CONTENTS
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1. "A Photo"
2. "Reminisces of My Wife"
3. "A Hand Carved Walnut Cross"
4,. "A Walking, Talking Encyclopedia
5. “Alzheimer’s Does Not Exist in Heaven!”
6. "Two Angels on High"
7. "To My Lady Love"
8. “In Heaven He Remembers”
9. "His Hands"
10. "Talking to a Loved One With Alzheimer's'
11. "You're The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me"
12. "An Unlikely Hero"
13. "No Tissues Please"
14. "Hope in Heaven"
15. "A Yellow Candle Light"
16. "June's Last Love Gift"
17. “A Heavenly Birthday Wish”
18. "June, You Walked Through This World With Me"
19. "A Heaven's View"
20. "Coincidences"
21. "Take My Hand"
22. "Should Have, Could Have, Would Have"
23. "This Is Not My Home"
24. "My Brother Sleeps"
25. "A Quiet Holiday at Home"
26. "What I Wish For Christmas"
27. "A Forever Friend"
"A Photo"
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Captured In One Frame
Two Smiles Etched
Two Hearts Aflame
Frozen and Sketched
Forever and Ever
Hand in Hand
Always Together
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"Reminisces of My Wife"
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Memories Sweet and Savory
Sustain Me Through Each Day
Her Smile, Her Laugh, Her Notes
Photos of When We Played
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Any Moment, Any Time
I Can Close my Eyes
And There She Stands
Reality, I can't Actulize
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Sometimes I Feel Her Near
As If She Brushes By
To Me Know
She is Well and Alive
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Memories Sweet and Savory
Sustain Me Through Each Day
Her Smile, He Laugh. Her Notes
Photos of When We Played
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(Written for June and Stanton Berg)
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" A Hand Carved Walnut Cross"
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Clasped in Her Right hand -
A Symbol She Has Treasured
All the Days of Her Life
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A Common Symptom
In the Late Stages of -
Alzheimer's, a Patient
Will Tightly Clench
Their Dominant Hand
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Her Husband Tenderly
Opens Her Gripped Fingers
Gently One by One
Placing the Hand Carved
Walnut Cross Within Her Grasp
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Something She Can Hold Onto
A Symbol of Her Faith
Her Refuge, Her Anchor in Life
Her Right Hand Muscles Relax
While in a Realm Not Faraway
Angels Watch Over Her
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(Written for June and Stanton Berg)
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"A Walking, Talking Encyclopedia"
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When my Dad started saying,
"This does not feel like my home"
As he sat in his recliner
In a house he built
Nail by nail, brick by brick -
An elderly gent named Stan
Became my friend
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He knew the journey
I was beginning with my dad.
Step by step, day by day
My friend listened to me.
Shared with me,
Guided me through the maze
Of the wretched disease known...
to many as Alzheimer's
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Stanton had lost his Mama,
His Sweetheart and many friends
To this dreadful demise.
After his eternal companion
Passed through the veil,
He has dedicated his life
To keep her memory alive
To educate others and to rid the world
Of this malady that leaves only
A shell of what a person once was
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I glimpsed an image in my head
Of my friend this morn
It put a smile upon my face -
"A walking , talking encyclopedia"
Every day, every single day
He posts and educates
That dementia is only a symptom
Of several diseases - the most common one
Being Alzheimer's.
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“Alzheimer’s Does Not Exist in Heaven!”
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I have a friend who chugs along...
each day with walker and cane.
Step after step, day after day
...post after post, tear after tear.
Eight long years without his love,
his light, his beloved wife...
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Stole away by a retched disease.
Tears are not for what he’s lost
...but splashed against the joy
of what’s to come...
When they grasp each other
...never to be separated again.
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Written for Stanton O. Berg
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Marsha McKneely Ault – 28 July 2016
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Stan’s Notes: I recently posted a story about June in her late stages of Alzheimer’s ...it was a story that I had first published on June’s birthday on November 8th, 2007...it was published .both on June’s website and the Minneapolis Star - Tribune...The story is entitled “A Day in the Life – Late Stage Alzheimer’s”...it was my effort to tell the story of what life is like for the victim of Alzheimer’s when they are near life’s end...Marsha read my tribute and it inspired her to write the above beautiful poem...while I was very touched by Marsha’s poetry I was also amused by her reference to me as “Chugging Along”...”Chugging along” is my long time automatic response to all who ask me how I am doing....Thanks Marsha for brightening my day, for your poetry and for your friendship....(29 July 2016)
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"Two Angels on High"
(Blanche's Graduation 1948)
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Blanche and June looked upward
and grasped His hand
as He led them toward the light
to their eternal home on high.
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I sit on earth below
my mind pondering what
these two angels
may be doing in their realm.
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I glimpse through infinity and feel
their goodness, their love,
their purity’s metamorphosis
spreading throughout their sphere—
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Touching every being there . . .
I see a smile upon His face,
their precious Lord,
as He partakes of their devotion
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and grace.
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Stan's Comments: Marsha wrote the above poem in honor of my cousin Blanche McDonald on the anniversary of her birthday 16 September...Blanche was born in 1930...Blanche also died a victim of Alzheimer's...Marsha made the following comments when she first wrote the poem for Blanche's Memorial page... "Sometimes I ponder what it will be like to be in Paradise with our precious Lord. I hope the below verse puts a smile upon your heart. Love, Marsha."
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"To My Lady Love"
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I’m left here alone in the sea of life to row—
reminded by a distant harsh cry of a crow.
Many suffer, many sorrow, many lose
to this retched disease with a detonating fuse.
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My boat has docked in many harbors’ berth
to the far corners of this earth
as I strive to give my all to make aware
and find an Alzheimer’s cure.
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Upon the choppy waters each day
I glimpse upward at the clouds’ array
and wish that I might reach upward
to grasp your hand, June dear.
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As I continue to propel with my oars
I’ll eye the distant shore
and hum a favorite hymn
giving all praise and glory to Him.
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The day will come
when all my work will be done
then dear, I’ll reach above
for your hand, my lady love.
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My earthly pain will then pale
when I see through the veil
the brightness of your angel face
and beside you, take my place.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - 30 August 2016
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Marsha's Notes: Marsha's poem "To My Lady Love" was originally done as a "Reader's Comment" on the page on June's Website entitled: "June, Help Me Make it Through the Night"...these are her written comments on that page...:
{Here is a link to the page "June, Help Me Make t Through the Night" that has her original comments and this poem..."June, Help Me Make it Through the Night"..).
"I do not know that much about Kris Kristofferson, but I really enjoyed his song "Why Me, Lord" and his spiritual experience. Something great happens in our lives when the Savior becomes a central part of our being. Hope you have a great day, my friend."...(Marsha's poem followed that comment with a dedication) ..."To Stanton O. Berg..".
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“In Heaven He Remembers”
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In the oppressive darkness
...of Alzheimer’s.
Behind his very brown eyes,
were once all the memories
...of a longed lived life.
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Slowly one by one,
they were stole away.
...by that retched disease.
No worry,
for the Lord has them all.
Safely deposited, for one day,
my dad will be able to retrieve them.
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As I bid him goodbye, his eyes close.
On the other side of the veil
...his eyes open, filling with light.
In unalloyed pleasure,
with breath plumed before him,
he remembers.
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Marsha McKneely Ault- 10 August 2016
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Stan’s Notes: I recently prepared a tribute to June for our 64th Wedding Anniversary... the theme of my tributes was “Remembering June.” This inspired Marsha to write a poem about the memories and the loss of memories by the victims of Alzheimer’s...Marsha’s own father a victim of Alzheimer’s became the focus of her poem...
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"His Hands"
Written for Caregivers
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All kinds of hands they have
some are wrinkled, veined
others are soft, unscathed
some maimed, untrained.
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It does not matter
they toil from morn to eve
someone’s prayer answered
if needed they do not leave.
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Liken to a huge statue
during World War II
planes flew
bombs dropped too.
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The huge statue of Christ
fell to the ground below
damaged, hands sacrificed
the people were filled with woe.
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The statue placed back, repaired
still lacked hands
but the people declared
we are His hands.
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Caregivers, our sisters, brothers
are Christ's hands
as they care for others
day after day in every land.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - 9 July 2016
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Stan's Notes: On 9 July 2016, I wrote and published a special tribute to Caregivers around the world..."I Salute The World's Caregivers"...Marsha read my tribute and my reference to Caregiver's being God's hands...this inspired Marsha to write a poem honoring Caregivers with the "Hands" theme in her poem...this very special poem by Marsha is shown above and is Marsha's tribute to caregivers...
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"Talking to a Loved One with Alzheimer’s"
(Marsha Ault and Her Father)
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An overheard conversation in a nursing home
...between a mother and daughter.
The mother, an apparent resident,
proceeded to ask every few moments...
“What time is it?”
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The daughter would tell her the time
with a tagged on negative remark.
“Mom, you just asked ten minutes ago.”
In the elderly patient’s confused mind
she must have wondered
what she had done wrong.
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In the last weeks of my dad’s life
as he laid in the hospital bed
his builder eyes would survey his room,
he would point to the ceiling,
or the wall and become...
very agitated with how the room
...had been built.
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We would try to understand
what he wanted us to do.
I even got upon a chair,
but that only frustrated him more.
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The Hospice nurse encouraged us to
...try not to guess what he was saying
but instead to talk in normal voices
...and not be in his face.
He suggested we hold his hand and tell him
...that we love him and reassure him.
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As our loved ones slip away...
into the shadows of this disease,
in word and in touch
...we can communicate—love.
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Marsha McKneely Ault 23 April 2016
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Marsha’s Notes: Tomorrow will be the second anniversary of my dad’s death. He has really been on my mind this last week or two. I wrote this poem after I read Stan's recent email "Talking with Alzheimer’s victims"...tears freely fell as the words came...(23 April 2016).
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“You’re the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me”
(Country Singer Ray Price)
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“You’re the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me”
After another long day without you,
I lie my head upon the pillow and listen...
to a classic song of the Country Legend Ray Price.
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His mellow voice lulls me to sleep with thoughts of you.
The pain swells in my breast as I think of bidding you adieu
as the lyrics remind me of how blessed a man can be, for June
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
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If an author one day were to write my biography
...with all my life’s ups and downs,
people would see you there beside me,
clasping my heart in your hands.
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Perhaps then and then only,
a reader might understand,
...might grasp the depth of the love,
and the devotion that can be, for June,
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
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Marsha McKneely Ault – 2016
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Stan’s Notes: Marsha’ was inspired to create this beautiful poem of my love for June after reading one of the comments that I had made late one lonely night in early January... “It is 2 AM and time for bed...I leave on this note and song by one of my favorite country singers. (Ray Price) with.my sentiments about my June”...You’re the Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me”.
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“An Unlikely Hero”
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In my mail box I find another Christmas card,
from people whose lives have intersect with mine.
Tears freely fall as their words of thanks
...give me reason to keep “chugging along”
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Even though my eighty-seven year old frame sways,
I press forward with my walker and cane.
My mind, my hands, and my heart I give to Him
…and with my beloved June’s inspiration…
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I continue to reach out across this world
…bringing forth light and awareness out of the darkness
…of this horrid disease called Alzheimer’s.
As long as my heart beats, as long as I breathe air,
I vow to never, ever, give up to rid this earth of it.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - 2016
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Marsha’s Note: “Stanton…Your prayers and comfort gave me strength when I dealt with losing my dad to Alzheimer's. May the Lord continue to bless you and keep you as you go forward in helping those whose families are touched by this terrible disease…” (Marsha, my thanks to you for your kind and generous comments…Stan)
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"No Tissues Please"
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Toss the tissues when you see...
an elderly gent dining out,
a very respectful retiree.
On his table sets a framed photo.
You may ponder: “Who is she?”
With his cane, his walker nearby,
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Approach him, feel free.
If you ask, he will gladly...
introduce you to his wife.
Although she’s in heaven,
she’s the love of his life.
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Her photo setting there...
is a silent but visible affirmation,
of the love they still share...
and helps him feel not alone.
Even though his heart is breaking.
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He does not feel forlorn.
Instead he feels so rich.
Not with money and wealth,
but with pure love enriched.
He spends his days...
fighting the horrid disease,
that stole his beloved away.
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Real selfless love is a rarity...
in our world today.
So no tissues please,
for this gent has it all
framed in her photo...
and he stands enthralled.
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Written for June and Stanton Berg
and their example of what real love is.
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Marsha McKneely Ault – December 2015
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Stan's Notes: Marsha was inspired to write her beautiful poem after reading my comments following the posting of another husband's story about dining with his wife...that story introduction advised the reader to have the "Tissues Handy"... since I dine every day with my wife June's picture on the table and have done so for a few years...probably hundreds of times and I have never noted anyone with "tissues handy"...I receive many comments about June's beauty and inquires about our life together...comments that seeing June's picture touches their hearts but I have never seen anyone with 'tissues handy"...I doubted that the gentleman in the featured story had noted anyone with "tissues handy" either...there appears to be a current tendency to suggest having "tissues at the ready" for every story touching the heart. (12 December 2015)
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"Hope in Heaven"
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Stan pondered why, in Alzheimer’s midst
his precious wife June sought
refuge in the pages of Graham’s’
"Hope for Each Day".
Faith propels us forward,
without hope we are tossed
…like a rudderless boat
with no direction, no course.
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June’s quiet confidence in a life to come
kept her afloat…kept her upright.
Her own guiding star helped her navigate
…the choppy waters with Stan beside her,
she held on tight as Hope gently whispers
to a weeping heart that love lives forever
hand in hand Stan and June
will live in God's mansions on high.
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Marsha Mckneely Ault – November 2015
Stan's Notes: For Easter in 1977, I purchased a book "Day - By - Day with Billy Graham" as a gift for June who was an admirer of Billy Graham...It was a book of daily devotionals...This was also the year of our 25th wedding anniversary.. Inside the cover I had written: "June - Something for my baby on Easter 1977 - Stan"...It was years later in 2002 that June purchased a newer version of Billy Graham's daily devotionals called "Hope for Each Day...Words of Wisdom and Faith"...in this year 2002, June was in her 6th year of Alzheimer's but still doing rather well in the early stages...2002 was also the year that June and I celebrated out 50th wedding anniversary...it was two years later that the disease had progressed to the middle or dementia stages and the darkness of the disease's rapidly closed in...June died 23 October 2008 in her 12th year of the disease...It is ironical that the first book of Billy Graham's daily devotionals was purchased in the year of our 25th anniversary with the 2nd newer version purchased in the year of our 50th anniversary...it was when I posted the story of June and the Billy Graham daily devotionals that Marsha read the posting and was inspired to write the above beautiful poem.
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"A Yellow Candle Light"
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A little light flickers in remembrance…
of the love of my life.
Our daughter lit it early this day…
in a state far away.
It will burn until night.
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She posted a picture online…
so I can see the wavering flame.
I can almost feel its warmth as I reminisce…
the warmth of her hand in mine.
Its fluttering stirs feelings…
feelings deep inside.
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Marsha McKneely Ault – October 2015
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Stan's Notes: My daughter Susan of Cary, North Carolina lite a candle in honor of her mother (my wife) June K. Berg on the 7th anniversary (2015) of her death from Alzheimer's on 23 October 2008...when Marsha saw the photo of the candle and my note, she was inspired to write the beautiful poem that appears above.
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“June’s Last Love Gift”
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Something so small,
seemingly so insignificant -
placed upon my night stand
…fills me with such joy,
such incredible delight.
Sometimes a mere touch-
comforts my lonely heart,
recharges my weary bones,
and gladdens my soul.
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Other days I read
…the small booklet -
from the front cover-
to the very last page.
As I rub my fingers
over her signature,
reminiscences escape
…from my eyes and -
trickle down my cheeks.
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Her priceless gift -
given so long ago,
…keeps giving…and giving.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - 2015
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Stan’s Notes: Marsha recently read my story of June’s last Gift to me before Alzheimer’s claimed her life…"My Last Gift From June -2003"...Marsha’s response was this beautiful and spontaneous poem which appeared as a "Reader's Comment" on that page…(23 September 2015)...I thought that this fine poem would be a good addition to Marsha's Poetry page and have hereby done so...This page of Marsha's, is a page that frequently embraces the sadness and reality of the Alzheimer’s disease...Marsha was a caregiver for her father who died from Alzheimer’s in April 2014…her caregiver insight and experience can often be seen and reflected in her poetry…to see the page on June's website that tells the story of June's last gift to me and where Marsha's poem first appeared as a "Reader's Comment", click the below link:
"June's Last Gift to Stan - 2003"
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“A Heavenly Birthday Wish”
For Stanton O. Berg
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On your birthday, be still.
You may not see or hear
and yet you will feel her near.
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Another birthday, another year
you continue to hold the banner high
A staunch advocate with no fear
you trod the path with Jesus nigh
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to rid this world of the retched disease
that stole your precious June away.
Love travels in a gentle breeze
from heaven to you each day.
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On your birthday, be still.
You may not see or hear
and yet you will feel her near.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - June 2014
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Stan's Notes: Marsha wrote this beautiful poem for my 86th birthday in 2014...June had been in her heavenly home for six (6) years on that 86th birthday...
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"June, You Walked Through This World With Me"
(June's valentine for Stan - 2003 - Undelivered!)
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"My Dear Stan
As I walk in the warmth of paradise
I reach through time for your hand
with perfect faith. I know…
You and I will be joined again.
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On that spring day when our eyes first met
I wondered, “Will we walk this world together?
Indeed we have— crisscrossing…
the blue, blue sea and the faraway lands.
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Time has waltzed with us in every dream,
every wish I ever had…to be a wife,
a mother, and a grandmother too…
All have been fulfilled in you, my dear Stan.
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When the darkness descended over my mind,
and I began to slip away, I never once feared
being alone or afraid. I knew…
you’d never leave my side.
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The day you found the undelivered Valentine…
with the printed words: “Hand in hand,
side by side, soul to soul, heart to heart”…
I wanted you to remember—
You and I will be joined again!”
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Marsha McKneely Ault - November 2013
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Stan's Notes: Marsha advised that after prayerful meditation while writing the above poem, “I felt impressed to have June speak to you”...Marsha's poem also has a references to an undelivered valentine from June to Stan that was not discovered until it was found on a Valentine's Day a few years later...Alzheimer's had affected June's memory to the extent that she forgot to deliver it in the year 2003 as intended...she had purchased it in 2002 and placed it in an envelope marked "Valentine's for 2003"...Marsha advised that she gave considerable thought to creating this poem for June. Marsha's preparation included reading and reviewing information about June's life as found in the essays and pages on June's website...this poem is the result and is featured on June's website page "June, You Walked Through This World With Me"... to visit the page on June's website that features this poem, click on the below link.:
"June, You Walked Through This World With Me"
(The above poem was also a part of the birthday tribute to June K. Berg and was published in the Sunday edition of the Minneapolis Star - Tribune, 10 November 2013.)
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"A Heaven's View"
To Stanton O. Berg
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If only the heavens could part
and we could see...
those who have crossed
into eternity.
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Here below on earth we feel
...sorrow, pain
our vision so limited...
we trudge alone each day.
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If we close our eyes...
we can feel , we can almost see.
Our beloved one watching over us...
from heavenly courts on high
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The anguish, the agony of today,
will pale in comparison to...
the wonderment, the joy...
of being reunited one day.
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Marsha Mckneely Ault - March 2014
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Stan's Notes: Marsha made the following comment that accompanied her poem: "It will happen Stanton, It will be the most wonderful moment when you and June are in each other's arms once more." ...this poem by Marsha appears as a "Reader's Comment" on June's website page: "June Nobody Answers When I Call Your Name"...to visit this page on June's website where this poem first appeared, click on the below link:
"June, Nobody Answer's When I Call Your Name"
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" Coincidences"
This is for Stan
(Stained Glass Window - Old Chapel - Redeemer Lutheran Church)
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Moses’ hand lifted his rod to part the sea.
The children of Israel crossed over to be free.
A coincident? Insignificant?
Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego refused to bow
in the fire not a hair singed. . .how?
A coincident? Insignificant?
The tomb stench confirmed Lazarus was dead,
yet the Savior called him forth from his bed.
A coincident? Insignificant?
At June’s farewell, her daughter glimpsed a bird fly
“Precious, Lord, take my hand”, as she bid good bye.
A coincident? Insignificant?
Nay! It was done in the Lord’s way.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - September 2013
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Stan's Notes: This poem is a part of the page on the this website called "Junes Faith - Crossing Over"...the reference to a bird flying comes from a story of June's funeral service where her daughter Julie reported seeing a bird fly across the front of the Redeemer Lutheran Church sanctuary during the service...to visit the page on which this poem first appeared and to read the full details of the sighting of a bird during June's funeral service, click on the below link:
"June's Faith - Crossing Over"
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"Take my Hand"
For Stanton and June
(June and Stan - 2006 -10th Year Alzheimer's)
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Like clock-work he came day after day
took her hand and prayed.
Painful though it was to not be remembered
he’d sing as she awakened from sweet slumber:
“Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand…
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light…”
Sensory inputs no longer recognized
by her dying brain, these words memorized
brought him solace and peace.
His heart pleaded for her agony to cease,
release her, oh please release,
so she can fly to heaven’s door
and be chained on earth no more
“Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand…
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light...”
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Marsha McKneely Ault - April 2015
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Stan's Notes: This poem by Marsha was a special postscript added to June's page called "Singing to June - Sweet Hour of Prayer" In her poem, Marsha quotes some lines from the song: "Take My Hand Precious Lord",, a song that I would sing to June every day...This poem was added to June's page in April of 2015....to visit the page on which this poem first appeared, click on the below link:
"Singing to June - Sweet Hour of Prayer"
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"Should Have, Could Have, Would Have"
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My dear, dear Love, it pains me so.
Way up above, I know you mourn…
because I left.. When you tear, I’m torn.
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I chose to leave with you at home.
I could not bear to grieve, to say one more goodbye.
My heart would have burst.
Instead, like a butterfly, I was set free.
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“Should have, could have, would have”— let it go.
I will be so glad, when we can say, “Hello!”
All wrapped in your arms, never let me go again.
You’ll protect me from harm, my dear, dear Stan.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - October 2014
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Stan's Notes: Marsha prefaced the above poem with these comments: " I wrote the...poem for a special friend of mine...Stan...I just wanted you to know that June loves you and waits for the day you two will be reunited in each other's arms..." ...
When My good friend Marsha wrote this beautiful poem, she utilized my earlier comments of remorse, regret and guilt... comments made after I missed being with June in her final hour...the nursing staff at the Benedictine did not feel that June would be in immediate danger before my usual morning arrival time of 9: AM....June died at 7 AM...leaving me with strong guilt feelings for not being with her...Marsha responded with a kind and thoughtful poetic commentary in the form of response from June!...Marsha's poem originally appeared on June's Website page: "June's Last Day and Final Hours"....to see the original poem and page click on the below link:
"June's Last Day and Final Hours"
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"This is Not My Home"
(Marsha and Her Dad)
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This does not feel like my house.
It looks like the house that I built
with my own hands, but it isn’t.
I don’t know how they did it,
but this isn’t my home.
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My daughter tries to reassure me
by telling me that this is my house.
But I know it isn’t. She starts to cry,
and tells me that she loves me.
I know she loves me, but she does not
understand. This is not my home.
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One morning I load my truck and
leave before 5:30 A.M. I know
my daughter will be worried,
so I leave her a note.
I am going to go and find my house.
I drive and drive and drive.
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I forget where I am. My cell phone
is dead. So I keep on driving
around and around and around.
I drive and drive and drive...
until darkness takes me hostage.
I don’t know how to get home.
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I see my name blinking upon a billboard.
My daughter’s looking for me.
Finally I am so tired and so lost, I pull
into a station. I remember a friend’s name.
The station man calls my friend.
They call my daughter. The police come.
My son-in-law comes to...
pick me up to take me home he says.
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I don’t want to go back...
to that house. It is not my home.
Why can’t they understand? I’m lost
I’m so tired...so disconnected.
I just want to go home.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - May 2015
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Stan's Notes: Marsha's poem is about a common symptom of the middle and later stages of Alzheimer's...it is common for the victims of this disease to talk of going home when they are already home...it is thought that perhaps they are referring to a childhood home...while their shot term memory is the first to go, their long term memory remains until the very late stage of the disease...eventually they have no memory at all...June also spoke of wanting to go home...Marsha has the following comments about her poem: “Stanton - I wrote this in remembrance of my Daddy. I hate Alzheimer's. I hate how it causes so much pain and sadness as it destroys an individual's heart and soul. Thank you for all you do to rid the earth of this dreaded disease…The hardest thing for me was no matter what I said or did, Daddy could not be reassured…I visited him every day wherever he was. He often thought I was NOT visiting him. He would forget…my Dad always recognized me, but he hallucinated and heard sounds and felt like I was trying to harm him. Sometimes he was angry....”
Marsha's Dad, Leonard Marshall McKneely,Sr., went to his heavenly home in April 2014.
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" My Brother Sleeps"
(Danny Carl McKneely)
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His eyes are closed.
His heart does not beat.
His ears are deaf.
His voice is silent.
His arms do not wrap about me...
to lift me off my feet.
His legs do not walk.
He is so very still.
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And yet. . .
even though his body rests,
the Spirit testifies to me
in a realm not far away...
his soul’s awake and lives!
Hallelujah, my God, my King!
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In a coming day...
his arms will wrap about me...
and lift me off my feet.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - April 2014
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Stan's Notes: Marsha wrote this poem for a page on June's Website on 1 April 2014....here is her note: “Stan. here is a poem that I wrote when my brother Danny died in December."... This poem was written as a "Reader's Comment" on June's website page: "Christian Believers...Asleep or in Heaven after Death."...those who would like to visit that page on this website where the original posting of this poem appears, click on the below link:
"Christian Believers...Asleep or in Heaven after Death"
Stan's Bible reference: 1 Corinthians 15:51-53 (NKJV) "Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed—... in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed...For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality..."
"Death may seize a believer, but it cannot hold him in its power. How many springs of joy to the saints, and of thanksgiving to God, are opened by the death and resurrection, the sufferings and conquests of the Redeemer!"
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“A Quiet Holiday At home “
(Free Will Baptist Church Choir)
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At Home All alone
I click on a video
and am completely blown
with the voices of heroes.
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One thousand member choir
sing on the state capitol steps,.
my immediate desire...
is myself there project
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With my walker and cane...
to help hold their banner.
“We Stand with God” and proclaim...
in joyous singing with no banter.
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Here in my home...
I sing along as if I were there.
Tears trickle, for I am not alone,
my Sweetheart June is near.
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Jesus is the Keeper of our souls
in Him we put our trust.
He’s in control...
and wait upon Him, we must.
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Marsha McKneely Ault.-.September 2015
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Stan’s Notes: Labor Day 2015 was a lonely day for me…then by accident I came upon a video of “The Free Will Baptist Church” of Spartanburg, SC holding a “Pro-Family Rally” on the South Carolina state capital steps at Columbia, SC…(29 August) their church choir of 1000 voices was singing a beautiful song, “I Am On the Winning Side”...behind them was their banner “Standing With God”…the crowd was estimated at 10,000 persons…the song video was so beautiful that I found myself playing and replaying it…this choir served to lift me out of my spell of sadness…when Marsha read my account of my Labor Day afternoon, she was prompted to write the above poem...see link below to the choir...
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"What I Wish For Christmas"
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(June with a Christmas Wreath
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When I hear a Christmas Carol,
June's presence fills the room.
As I glimpse the gas fire
I can smell her perfume.
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If only for a moment
I could see her smile,
caress her hand,
for just a little while.
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It would be the best,
the grandest gift
this ole gent could receive --
the cloud of loneliness would lift.
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(By Marsha McKneely Ault, Nacogdoches, Texas)
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"A Forever Friend"
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Heaven's greatest Gift
Is a Forever Friend
Whose Love and Support
He Continually Sends.
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When You're Down
And Feel a Little Blue
A Note, a Call, a Cheer
Can Really Lift You.
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He Sees the Good
And with a Breath of Kindness
He Blows the Rest Away.
Your Heart Overflows with Gladness.
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Words Cannot Express
Your Gratitude for Such a Friend,
His Trust, His Care, His Love -
Because Forever Has No End.
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(Written for Best Friends by Marsha McKeely Ault)
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Stan's Note: (March 2019) Since this page was first created (July 2015) approximately 6,000 people have visited this page.
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Reader's Comments
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Kathi Check-Maher - Finesville, New Jersey - (2 August 2015):'Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww."
Jeane Key Grobe - Wylie, Texas - (2 August 2015): "Just lovely Marsha!."
Jackie Irving - Liverpool, United Kingdom - (3 August 2015): "What a beautiful touching picture of you and June Stan...the poems written especially for you and her are also very beautiful...thank you for giving us the opportunity to read these unique and heartfelt poems...with June you most certainly did win the lottery of life Stan.....God bless."...(9 September 2015): "I'm so glad your spirits have been lifted by this lovely choir singing and Marsha's beautiful poem Stan.* (A Quiet Holiday at Home)
Bridie Breen - Manchester, United Kingdom - (3 August 2015): "A fine collection Stan. Lovely tribute to June and you and the love shared. well done Marsha."
Louise Ann Howard - Batemans Bay, New South Wales, Australia - (3 August 2015): "So lovely again."
Fredrikke Taylor - Texas - (3 August 2015): "Marsha, this is one of your best." ("Take My Hand")
Kaye Swain - Roseville, California - (9 September 2015): "Thanks for sharing this encouragement - and praying for you."
Bessie Peery - Nashville Tennessee - (30 September 2015): "So Beautiful Stan, know your enjoying them, thanks for sharing them, enjoy reading and your posts, have a good day, thinking of you, take care, God is so Good...(June's Last Love Gift)
Anne Donnelly - Belfast, United Kingdom - (30 September 2015): "Just lovely Stanton God bless"...(June's Last Love Gift)
Susan Workman - Murphy, North Carolina - (30 September 2015): "Thank you both for posting, absolutely beautiful."...(June's Last Love Gift)
Dianne Cogar - Springfield, Ohio - (30 September 2015): "Beautifully written, Marsha!"...(June's Last Love Gift)
Maureen Gray - Aliston, Massachusetts - (30 September 2015): "So sweet...that feeling you get when remembering."...(June's Last Love Gift)
Cher Riley-Hart - Bath, United Kingdom - (24 October 2015): "That is lovely Stan...what a lovely poem and straight from the soul to another good soul who Rests in Peace...(Yellow Candle Light)...
Jackie Irving - Liverpool, United Kingdom - (1 December 2015):"These poems are such a wonderful gift that everyone can share and enjoy....thank you... (5 December 2015): "Its beautiful Stan!....what an honor it must be to have someone write poetry for you ....I love poems and the written word ...my only sorrow is my eyesight is becoming increasingly worse and its very hard to focus for long but it gives me so much pleasure to read your many interesting posts....thank you....take care and God bless to you my dear friend."
Anne Donnelly - Belfast, Ireland - (5 December 2015):"Ah Stanton what a read my favorite poem is "Take my hand"...they are all good but that one stood out for me. God bless you Stanton .take care."
James Denton - Pana, Illinois - (8 January 2016): "What beautiful sentiments"...(An Unlikely Hero).
Michael Shaw - Olney, Illinois - (9 January 2016): "lovely message."...(An Unlikely Hero).
Karen Glover - Suffolk County, New York - (9 January 2016): "Beautiful Written and Heartfelt"....(An Unlikely Hero).
Debra Eng - Scarborough, Toronto, Ontario - (10 April 2016): "They are beautiful. I must admit, I had to get the tissues out. I still get teary when I think of Dad and I think of him every day. It will be 2 years in May. I am in another LBD group on facebook, and someone suggested I get some professional help, implying that I shouldn't be grieving that long. I am busy, I work full time, and come home from work and look after my 85 Mum and sit with her until about midnight. I am also a grandmother. So I haven't let it take over my life. I don't think I will ever forget. I too, feel guilty that we were not there at his beside when he passed. My poor daughter discovered him dead in his hospital bed when she went to visit. He had been dead hours and no one noticed. And poor Mum hates to go the restaurant we all used to frequent.every weekend. It's still too painful."
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June's Passing
After an almost 12 year journey into the shadows of Alzheimer's, early one morning in late October 2008, an exhausted June felt God's gentle touch on her shoulder and heard the words: "Come Home June!" As June lay like a wounded soldier on a battlefield, it was God's Angels that ushered June into a Heavenly Kingdom to the sound of a chorus of Angels...and into June's new home, a "Mansion on the Hilltop", where there is no pain, nor illness nor tears...June's funeral notice as published in the Minneapolis Star in October 2008 can be seen on this website in the drop down menu under the "In Memoriam" label - just Click on:
"June K. (Rolstad) Berg - In Memoriam"
