Share this pageMarsha's Poetic Expressions of June's Love and Life
- Details
- Published on Wednesday, 22 July 2015 17:08
- Written by Stanton O. Berg
"MARSHA'S POETIC EXPRESSIONS of JUNE'S and STAN'S, LIFE, MARSHA'S LIFE and ALZHEIMER'S "
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Marsha McKneely Ault of Nacogdoches, Texas is our poet - for this page of June's website...Marsha was a School Teacher before becoming a wife and a mother…Marsha taught high school Spanish and Junior English…later Marsha assisted her church by teaching early morning seminary subjects. Marsha was born on Elvis Presley's Birthday, January 8th, 1949. Marsha will be 73 Years old in January of 2022
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Over the years Marsha has enjoyed writing poems for her family and friends on special occasions and at times of “difficult challenges”. Marsha, a Christian, also has had a number of her poems published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in their church publication.
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Marsha has kindly written a number of beautiful and touching poems about Stan and his wife June, and their Lives and times as well as the impact of Alzheimer's in their lives as well as her own life that appear on this website…Marsha understands Alzheimer's and the care-giving needed for this terrible disease...Marsha was her father's caregiver in the years of his Alzheimer's and his eventual passing...Marsha has also lost two younger brothers and a younger sister so she knows first hand the grief of losing family loved ones...her poems reflect this understanding and knowledge.
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Marsha's Poems are also a glimpse into almost a century of history of both Stan's and Junes Life as well as Marsha's Life. These lives Span the time Period of 1928 to 2021. Some 93 Years. (The Great Depression, World War II, The Korean War, The Vietnam War, The Gulf War and the current Flu-Virus Pandemic of 2020.
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Stan's Note: (12/20/2021) Since this page was first created July 2015, approximately 10,000 persons have visited this page.
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Note: The poems by Marsha as found on this page, are all listed in and from 1 to 40. (The numbering is in the order in which the poem was added to this page but not necessarily the age of the poem.) Marsha is a not only a great poem writer but a very prolific poem writer. Marsha is a distant Texas friend, first connected/introduced to Stan by mutual family Alzheimer's victims. (Stan's wife June and Marsha's father Leonard.) Stan has tried to assemble Marsha's poems from their various locations on Stan's website from which they first appeared. Stan is very impressed with the quality of Marsha's Poems and feels that the world should have them and consider them as the world is wracked by the terrible disease of Alzheimer's. (The USA alone sees about 500,000 cases yearly)
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TABLE of CONTENTS
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1. "A Lifetime of Memories Disappear"
2. "I Will Be All Right My Love"
3. "The Babe"
4. "A Tribute to Stan"
5. "A Flag For Stan"
6.. "Her Story"
7. "All My Love to You. I Bestow"
8. "As My June Slips Away"
9.."My Lady Love"
10. "When I Glimpse You"
11. "Happy Birthday Stanton!"
12. "A Photo"
13. "Reminisces of My Wife"
14. "A Hand Carved Walnut Cross"
15. "A Walking, Talking Encyclopedia
16. “Alzheimer’s Does Not Exist in Heaven!”
17. "Two Angels on High"
18. “In Heaven He Remembers”
19. "His Hands"
20. "Talking to a Loved One With Alzheimer's'
21. "You're The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me"
22. "An Unlikely Hero"
23. "No Tissues Please"
24. "Hope in Heaven"
25. "A Yellow Candle Light"
26. "June's Last Love Gift"
27. “A Heavenly Birthday Wish”
28. "June, You Walked Through This World With Me"
29 "A Heaven's View"
30. "Coincidences"
31. "Take My Hand"
32. "Should Have, Could Have, Would Have"
33. "This Is Not My Home"
34. "My Brother Sleeps"
35. "A Quiet Holiday at Home"
36. "What I Wish For Christmas"
37. "A Forever Friend"
38. "I Want to Run With Jesus"
39. "Walking Down Memory Lane"
40. "A New Mother"
"A Lifetime of Memories Disappear"
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Please Do Not Lean Into My Face
And Speak with a Very Loud Voice
Asking Me Again and Again if I Know You.
Forgetting is not my Choice.
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Instead, Gently Take My Hand and
Softly Reassure Me with kind words.
I tremble Brimming Over
Like Quivering Curds.
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Please Be Patient With Me
Do Not Become Irritated.
I am Sorry My Memories Are Lost
Do Not Become Overly inundated.
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My Mind is Absent -
But My Heart Continues to Beat -
I Need to Hear and Feel Your Touch.
Until I Fly - It Will Be Intense and Bitter Sweet.
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"I Will Be All Right My Love"
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After June's Diagnosis
She Glimpsed Stan's Wrinkled Brow -
And The Fear in His Eyes
Wanting to Reassure -
The Love of Her Life...
She Simply Said: "Don't Worry,
I will be Alright Stan"
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Their Twelve Year Journey,
Into the Darkness of Alzheimer's,
Is Well Documented Online.
Stan Cared for June Every Moment,
Of Every Day ...
Those First Years They Made Their ...
"Bucket List!"
And Checked Items Off - One by One ...
As They Traveled The World Over -
Year Nine, June Could No Longer Remain,
With Stan at Home.
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The Years That Followed, With Increased
Difficulty, The Increased Sadness as
This Man Lost His Beloved Wife -
"Bit by Bit"
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June Was Not Blind.
To The Cruelty of This Disease,
But June Knew The Lord,
And In The End -
She Knew She Would be All Right.
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Marsha's Note to Stan: (22 March 2017) "The beauty. the sadness, the love and the sacrifice of your words touched me deeply inside. As I imagine the beautiful day when June will feel your hand slip so perfectly into her hand and the splendor of being reunited again with your sweetheart - Thanks for sharing my friend."
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"The Babe"
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Turn Down the Noise
Of the World
And Focus on the Babe
Swaddled in a Bed of Straw
His Birth Foretold
Many Years Before.
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Don't Ponder Things to Come
Gethsemane, or Calvary.
Instead Close Your Eyes
And Glimpse the Manger
The Sounds, the Smells
Of Animals Slumbering Nearby
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Can You See the New Star?
The Shepherds with Lambs?
Angels with Hallelujahs?
Let the Spirit Testify
This Babe is the Messiah,
Our Lord and King.
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Written by Marsha McKneely Ault - in a framed Holder, as a Gift to Stan, in late December 2020. The photo above shows Stan holding Marsha's gift,
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"A Tribute To Stan"
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How I Wish I Could Visit You
And Lift Your Spirits This Day.
I Would Try And Catch Your Tears
As They Trickle Down Your Cheeks
I Would Want To Help You See
That During June's Journey
With Alzheimer"s and...
Each Day Since You Too
Have Been Tested, Tempered,
And Tried, But You Have
Been Immovable and
Determined To Win The Fight
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You With a Walker and Cane
Have Taught The World
About This Wretched Disease.
In My Life You Entered
Like a Knight From Old
And Helped Me Take Each Step
With My Dad As He Too
Became A Victim of Alzheimer's
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I Don't Know The Number
Of Others You Have Reached Out
And Touched And Helped, But
I Am Sure It Is In The Thousands.
You Pray For People, You Teach
And Help Caregivers And
Lighten Their Loads.
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You Are Not Perfect Stan,
But You Are A Good Man.
June Is Not Far Away, She's Closer
Than You Know. She is Proud
Of Her Man And How Firm
He Stands Even With His
Walker And Cane.
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(Written by Marsha McKneely Ault - August 2020)
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Stan's Note: During one of my periods of Sadness and Tears while thinking of My Wife June who went To Heaven as a Victim of Alzheimer's in late 2008, my longtime friend from East Texas, Marsha McKneely Ault wrote the above Poem in an attempt to cheer me up...Everyone needs a Friend like Marsha!
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"A Flag For Stan"
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"A Flag for Stan"
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May It Wave Over The Land
Home of The Brave and Free
And For a Young Lad Who Was All Clad
For His Birthday, His Mama had Said,
As He Glimpses the Red, White and Blue -
"The Colors Dance Just For You!"
"Happy Birthday to My Boy
Who Has Brought Me So Much Joy."
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Happy Birthday Stanton!
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Stan's Note: Marsha sent the following note with her Poem for Stan's Birthday...May the above poem bring you treasured reminiscences from when you glimpsed out the window and saw all the flags dancing in the breeze. As you hold this flag (Marsha and Robert, her husband gave Stan and actual flag and is the one shown in the photo) in your hands, put it up to your heart and close your eyes, and remember back when you were just a lad. Happy Birthday Stanton! Love Marsha and Robert. (Because Stan's Birthday and Flag Day is on the same day. June 14th, Stan's mother always told Stan, who was then abut 5 years old, that the flags were flying for his birthday!
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"Her Story"
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"Her Story"
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Page by page
His feeble fingers turn
As he rises often
Before the sun
To forge out any mistakes
Hidden in the chapters
Of his wife's book.
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A labor of love,
A Tribute to June
The woman he cherishes.
To edit is not arduous
For memories insulate
The task as he relives
Their life together.
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The very title whispers
Of the joy they shared:
"Reminiscences of a
Traveling Grandmother."
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She is separated from him
By a veil that can be thin.
Even parted at times
Where she waits for him
To come where their hearts
Will never be parted again.
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When her book
Is published, their story,
Their love, and their legacy
Will continue to be shared
Over and over again
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Stan's Note: (16 November 2019) Marsha, my Good Friend and Poet Friend, from Nacogdoches, Texas was inspired to write this poem, as she noted my daily facebook postings about my progress of reviewing my efforts in editorial page reviews and corrections of the chapters in June's upcoming New Book, a Biography of Her life entitled: "Reminiscences of June, a Traveling Grandmother and her Forensic Life".
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"All My Love to You, I Bestow"
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To June From Stanton
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Once Again Fall Leaves Turn To Every Hue
As The Anniversary Of Your Parting Looms,
Sadness Stalks As I Remember Loosing You.
Memories Insulate And Help Me Through,
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The Mist Of Loneliness I Often Feel,
As My Soul Is Stilled By The Hand of God.
Our Separation Is So Surrreal.
I Wish There Was A Connecting Rod.
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Between Heaven And This Earth.
I Would Tie A Bouquet To One End,
And Send It Heavenward
With A Love Note Penned.
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I Can Almost See Your Dancing Eyes,
And The Smile Upon Your Face.
To Receive A Surprise From Your Guy,
From Down Here In the Same Ole Place.
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You Would Be So Excited To Know,
A Book Of Your Life I've Written.
Oh June, My Heart Beats So,
And With My Eyes Moistened,
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All My Love To You, I Bestow.
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Stan's Note: (1 October 2019) This beautiful Poem by Marsha, was written by Marsha on 28 September 2019, in anticipation and in honor of June's being called to Heaven by God on 23 October 2008, some 11 Years ago.
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"As My June Slips Away"
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No More Fear
No More Sorrow
No More Tears
No More Tomorrows
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No More Silence
No More Pain
No More Sad Ambiance
No More Here To Remain
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Now In Splendor
How In His Presence
Now In His Love So Tender
Now In Heavenly Existence
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I Alone Await
Here On Earth
For The Wondrous Day
We'll Be Reunited With Joyous Mirth
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Stan's Notes: This beautiful poem by Marsha was done in honor, memory, and commemoration of the 10th Anniversary of June's going home to Heaven on October 23rd, 2008... written by Marsha on 1 October 2018.
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"To My Lady Love"
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I'm Left Here Alone in Sea of Life to Row -
Reminded by a Distant Harsh Cry of a Crow.
Many Suffer, Many Sorrow, Many Lose
To This Wretched Disease with a Detonating Fuse.
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My Boat Has Docked in Many Harbors' Berth
To the Far Corners of This Earth
As I Strive to Give My All to Make Aware
And Find an Alzheimer's Cure
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Upon The Choppy Waters Each Day
I Glimpse Upward at The Clouds' Array
And Wish That I Might Reach Upward
To Grasp Your Hand June Dear.
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As I Continue to Propel With My Oars
I'll Eye The Distant Shore
And Hum a Favorite Hymn
Giving All Praise and Glory to Him
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The Day Will Come
When All My Work Will Be Done
Then Dear I'll Reach Above
For Your Hand, My Lady Love
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My Earthly Pain Will Then Pale
When I see Through the Veil
The Brightness of Your Angel Face
And Beside You Take My Place
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Stan's Note: Marsha originally wrote this Poem back in 4 September 2016 and then again more recently on 5 September 2019 she published it on her Facebook Page...It is a beautiful poem, that should be preserved...and where better than on Marsha's page of Poetry on June's Website.
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"When I Glimpse You"
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Time Has Moved So Very Slow
Since You Quietly Stepped Into Heaven
And Left Me Behind Alone
I Realize Now Marks Year Eleven
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Memories of a Lifetime Together
Your Undelivered Valentine, Cards and Notes
Your Presence I Have Felt Near
Have All Kept Me Afloat.
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The Veil That Separates Us
Can Become Thin,
Even Parted at Times
I'm So Grateful You Are With Him.
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I Have Visions of What It Will Be Like
When I will Step Through -
The Grand Reunion That Will Take Place
When I Run To You!
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Written for Stanton and June Berg
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"Happy Birthday Stanton!"
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On a Poetry Backyard Group
I Met a Widower
Whose Memories
He Reminisces Over and Over
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Of His Beautiful June
He's an Autobiographer New,
An Forensic Expert,
And Seeks a Breakthrough
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For the Cure for Alzheimer's
A Wretched Disease.
He Receives Hundreds
Of Personal Pleas
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On His Prayer Rolls
With the Passing of Every Day.
His Daily Posts Online
Reach Places Faraway
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Enlightening and Lifting.
Today is His Birthday...
He Will Receive Many, Many
Greetings on This Day,
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But The Most Special
Will Be Heaven Sent.
Stanton's Heart Will Overflow
With Perfect Love and Content.
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Written For My Friend... by Marsha Ault
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"A Photo"
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Captured In One Frame
Two Smiles Etched
Two Hearts Aflame
Frozen and Sketched
Forever and Ever
Hand in Hand
Always Together
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"Reminisces of My Wife"
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Memories Sweet and Savory
Sustain Me Through Each Day
Her Smile, Her Laugh, Her Notes
Photos of When We Played
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Any Moment, Any Time
I Can Close my Eyes
And There She Stands
Reality, I can't Actualize
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Sometimes I Feel Her Near
As If She Brushes By
To let Me Know
She is Well and Alive
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Memories Sweet and Savory
Sustain Me Through Each Day
Her Smile, Her Laugh. Her Notes
Photos of When We Played
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(Written for June and Stanton Berg)
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" A Hand Carved Walnut Cross"
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Clasped in Her Right hand -
A Symbol She Has Treasured
All the Days of Her Life
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A Common Symptom
In the Late Stages of -
Alzheimer's, a Patient
Will Tightly Clench
Their Dominant Hand
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Her Husband Tenderly
Opens Her Gripped Fingers
Gently One by One
Placing the Hand Carved
Walnut Cross Within Her Grasp
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Something She Can Hold Onto
A Symbol of Her Faith
Her Refuge, Her Anchor in Life
Her Right Hand Muscles Relax
While in a Realm Not Faraway
Angels Watch Over Her
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(Written for June and Stanton Berg)
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"A Walking, Talking Encyclopedia"
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When my Dad started saying,
"This does not feel like my home"
As he sat in his recliner
In a house he built
Nail by nail, brick by brick -
An elderly gent named Stan
Became my friend
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He knew the journey
I was beginning with my dad.
Step by step, day by day
My friend listened to me.
Shared with me,
Guided me through the maze
Of the wretched disease known...
to many as Alzheimer's
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Stanton had lost his Mama,
His Sweetheart and many friends
To this dreadful demise.
After his eternal companion
Passed through the veil,
He has dedicated his life
To keep her memory alive
To educate others and to rid the world
Of this malady that leaves only
A shell of what a person once was
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I glimpsed an image in my head
Of my friend this morn
It put a smile upon my face -
"A walking , talking encyclopedia"
Every day, every single day
He posts and educates
That dementia is only a symptom
Of several diseases - the most common one
Being Alzheimer's.
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“Alzheimer’s Does Not Exist in Heaven!”
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I have a friend who chugs along...
each day with walker and cane.
Step after step, day after day
...post after post, tear after tear.
Eight long years without his love,
his light, his beloved wife...
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Stole away by a wretched disease.
Tears are not for what he’s lost
...but splashed against the joy
of what’s to come...
When they grasp each other
...never to be separated again.
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Written for Stanton O. Berg
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Marsha McKneely Ault – 28 July 2016
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Stan’s Notes: I recently posted a story about June in her late stages of Alzheimer’s ...it was a story that I had first published on June’s birthday on November 8th, 2007...it was published .both on June’s website and the Minneapolis Star - Tribune...The story is entitled “A Day in the Life – Late Stage Alzheimer’s”...it was my effort to tell the story of what life is like for the victim of Alzheimer’s when they are near life’s end...Marsha read my tribute and it inspired her to write the above beautiful poem...while I was very touched by Marsha’s poetry I was also amused by her reference to me as “Chugging Along”...”Chugging along” is my long time automatic response to all who ask me how I am doing....Thanks Marsha for brightening my day, for your poetry and for your friendship....(29 July 2016)
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"Two Angels on High"
(Blanche's Graduation 1948)
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Blanche and June looked upward
and grasped His hand
as He led them toward the light
to their eternal home on high.
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I sit on earth below
my mind pondering what
these two angels
may be doing in their realm.
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I glimpse through infinity and feel
their goodness, their love,
their purity’s metamorphosis
spreading throughout their sphere—
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Touching every being there . . .
I see a smile upon His face,
their precious Lord,
as He partakes of their devotion
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and grace.
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Stan's Comments: Marsha wrote the above poem in honor of my cousin Blanche McDonald on the anniversary of her birthday 16 September...Blanche was born in 1930...Blanche also died a victim of Alzheimer's...Marsha made the following comments when she first wrote the poem for Blanche's Memorial page... "Sometimes I ponder what it will be like to be in Paradise with our precious Lord. I hope the below verse puts a smile upon your heart. Love, Marsha."
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“In Heaven He Remembers”
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In the oppressive darkness
...of Alzheimer’s.
Behind his very brown eyes,
were once all the memories
...of a longed lived life.
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Slowly one by one,
they were stole away.
...by that wretched disease.
No worry,
for the Lord has them all.
Safely deposited, for one day,
my dad will be able to retrieve them.
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As I bid him goodbye, his eyes close.
On the other side of the veil
...his eyes open, filling with light.
In unalloyed pleasure,
with breath plumed before him,
he remembers.
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Marsha McKneely Ault- 10 August 2016
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Stan’s Notes: I recently prepared a tribute to June for our 64th Wedding Anniversary... the theme of my tributes was “Remembering June.” This inspired Marsha to write a poem about the memories and the loss of memories by the victims of Alzheimer’s...Marsha’s own father, Leonard Marshall McKneely Sr. was a victim of Alzheimer’s and became the focus of her poem...
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"His Hands"
Written for Caregivers
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All kinds of hands they have
some are wrinkled, veined
others are soft, unscathed
some maimed, untrained.
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It does not matter
they toil from morn to eve
someone’s prayer answered
if needed they do not leave.
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Liken to a huge statue
during World War II
planes flew
bombs dropped too.
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The huge statue of Christ
fell to the ground below
damaged, hands sacrificed
the people were filled with woe.
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The statue placed back, repaired
still lacked hands
but the people declared
we are His hands.
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Caregivers, our sisters, brothers
are Christ's hands
as they care for others
day after day in every land.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - 9 July 2016
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Stan's Notes: On 9 July 2016, I wrote and published a special tribute to Caregivers around the world..."I Salute The World's Caregivers"...Marsha read my tribute and my reference to Caregiver's being God's hands...this inspired Marsha to write a poem honoring Caregivers with the "Hands" theme in her poem...this very special poem by Marsha is shown above and is Marsha's tribute to caregivers...
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"Talking to a Loved One with Alzheimer’s"
(Marsha Ault and Her Father)
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An overheard conversation in a nursing home
...between a mother and daughter.
The mother, an apparent resident,
proceeded to ask every few moments...
“What time is it?”
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The daughter would tell her the time
with a tagged on negative remark.
“Mom, you just asked ten minutes ago.”
In the elderly patient’s confused mind
she must have wondered
what she had done wrong.
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In the last weeks of my dad’s life
as he laid in the hospital bed
his builder eyes would survey his room,
he would point to the ceiling,
or the wall and become...
very agitated with how the room
...had been built.
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We would try to understand
what he wanted us to do.
I even got upon a chair,
but that only frustrated him more.
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The Hospice nurse encouraged us to
...try not to guess what he was saying
but instead to talk in normal voices
...and not be in his face.
He suggested we hold his hand and tell him
...that we love him and reassure him.
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As our loved ones slip away...
into the shadows of this disease,
in word and in touch
...we can communicate—love.
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Marsha McKneely Ault 23 April 2016
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Marsha’s Notes: Tomorrow will be the second anniversary of my dad’s death. He has really been on my mind this last week or two. I wrote this poem after I read Stan's recent email "Talking with Alzheimer’s victims"...tears freely fell as the words came...(23 April 2016) Stan's Comment: Marsha's father is Leonard Marshall McKneely Sr..
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“You’re the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me”
(Country Singer Ray Price)
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“You’re the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me”
After another long day without you,
I lie my head upon the pillow and listen...
to a classic song of the Country Legend Ray Price.
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His mellow voice lulls me to sleep with thoughts of you.
The pain swells in my breast as I think of bidding you adieu
as the lyrics remind me of how blessed a man can be, for June
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
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If an author one day were to write my biography
...with all my life’s ups and downs,
people would see you there beside me,
clasping my heart in your hands.
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Perhaps then and then only,
a reader might understand,
...might grasp the depth of the love,
and the devotion that can be, for June,
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
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Marsha McKneely Ault – 2016
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Stan’s Notes: Marsha’ was inspired to create this beautiful poem of my love for June after reading one of the comments that I had made late one lonely night in early January... “It is 2 AM and time for bed...I leave on this note and song by one of my favorite country singers. (Ray Price) with.my sentiments about my June”...You’re the Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me”.
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“An Unlikely Hero”
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In my mail box I find another Christmas card,
from people whose lives have intersect with mine.
Tears freely fall as their words of thanks
...give me reason to keep “chugging along”
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Even though my eighty-seven year old frame sways,
I press forward with my walker and cane.
My mind, my hands, and my heart I give to Him
…and with my beloved June’s inspiration…
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I continue to reach out across this world
…bringing forth light and awareness out of the darkness
…of this horrid disease called Alzheimer’s.
As long as my heart beats, as long as I breathe air,
I vow to never, ever, give up to rid this earth of it.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - 2016
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Marsha’s Note: “Stanton…Your prayers and comfort gave me strength when I dealt with losing my dad to Alzheimer's. May the Lord continue to bless you and keep you as you go forward in helping those whose families are touched by this terrible disease…” (Marsha, my thanks to you for your kind and generous comments…Stan)
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"No Tissues Please"
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Toss the tissues when you see...
an elderly gent dining out,
a very respectful retiree.
On his table sets a framed photo.
You may ponder: “Who is she?”
With his cane, his walker nearby,
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Approach him, feel free.
If you ask, he will gladly...
introduce you to his wife.
Although she’s in heaven,
she’s the love of his life.
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Her photo setting there...
is a silent but visible affirmation,
of the love they still share...
and helps him feel not alone.
Even though his heart is breaking.
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He does not feel forlorn.
Instead he feels so rich.
Not with money and wealth,
but with pure love enriched.
He spends his days...
fighting the horrid disease,
that stole his beloved away.
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Real selfless love is a rarity...
in our world today.
So no tissues please,
for this gent has it all
framed in her photo...
and he stands enthralled.
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Written for June and Stanton Berg
and their example of what real love is.
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Marsha McKneely Ault – December 2015
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Stan's Notes: Marsha was inspired to write her beautiful poem after reading my comments following the posting of another husband's story about dining with his wife...that story introduction advised the reader to have the "Tissues Handy"... since I dine every day with my wife June's picture on the table and have done so for a few years...probably hundreds of times and I have never noted anyone with "tissues handy"...I receive many comments about June's beauty and inquires about our life together...comments that seeing June's picture touches their hearts but I have never seen anyone with 'tissues handy"...I doubted that the gentleman in the featured story had noted anyone with "tissues handy" either...there appears to be a current tendency to suggest having "tissues at the ready" for every story touching the heart. (12 December 2015)
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"Hope in Heaven"
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Stan pondered why, in Alzheimer’s midst
his precious wife June sought
refuge in the pages of Graham’s’
"Hope for Each Day".
Faith propels us forward,
without hope we are tossed
…like a rudderless boat
with no direction, no course.
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June’s quiet confidence in a life to come
kept her afloat…kept her upright.
Her own guiding star helped her navigate
…the choppy waters with Stan beside her,
she held on tight as Hope gently whispers
to a weeping heart that love lives forever
hand in hand Stan and June
will live in God's mansions on high.
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Marsha Mckneely Ault – November 2015
Stan's Notes: For Easter in 1977, I purchased a book "Day - By - Day with Billy Graham" as a gift for June who was an admirer of Billy Graham...It was a book of daily devotionals...This was also the year of our 25th wedding anniversary.. Inside the cover I had written: "June - Something for my baby on Easter 1977 - Stan"...It was years later in 2002 that June purchased a newer version of Billy Graham's daily devotionals called "Hope for Each Day...Words of Wisdom and Faith"...in this year 2002, June was in her 6th year of Alzheimer's but still doing rather well in the early stages...2002 was also the year that June and I celebrated out 50th wedding anniversary...it was two years later that the disease had progressed to the middle or dementia stages and the darkness of the disease's rapidly closed in...June died 23 October 2008 in her 12th year of the disease...It is ironical that the first book of Billy Graham's daily devotionals was purchased in the year of our 25th anniversary with the 2nd newer version purchased in the year of our 50th anniversary...it was when I posted the story of June and the Billy Graham daily devotionals that Marsha read the posting and was inspired to write the above beautiful poem.
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"A Yellow Candle Light"
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A little light flickers in remembrance…
of the love of my life.
Our daughter lit it early this day…
in a state far away.
It will burn until night.
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She posted a picture online…
so I can see the wavering flame.
I can almost feel its warmth as I reminisce…
the warmth of her hand in mine.
Its fluttering stirs feelings…
feelings deep inside.
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Marsha McKneely Ault – October 2015
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Stan's Notes: My daughter Susan of Cary, North Carolina lite a candle in honor of her mother (my wife) June K. Berg on the 7th anniversary (2015) of her death from Alzheimer's on 23 October 2008...when Marsha saw the photo of the candle and my note, she was inspired to write the beautiful poem that appears above.
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“June’s Last Love Gift”
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Something so small,
seemingly so insignificant -
placed upon my night stand
…fills me with such joy,
such incredible delight.
Sometimes a mere touch-
comforts my lonely heart,
recharges my weary bones,
and gladdens my soul.
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Other days I read
…the small booklet -
from the front cover-
to the very last page.
As I rub my fingers
over her signature,
reminiscences escape
…from my eyes and -
trickle down my cheeks.
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Her priceless gift -
given so long ago,
…keeps giving…and giving.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - 2015
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Stan’s Notes: Marsha recently read my story of June’s last Gift to me before Alzheimer’s claimed her life…"My Last Gift From June -2003"...Marsha’s response was this beautiful and spontaneous poem which appeared as a "Reader's Comment" on that page…(23 September 2015)...I thought that this fine poem would be a good addition to Marsha's Poetry page and have hereby done so...This page of Marsha's, is a page that frequently embraces the sadness and reality of the Alzheimer’s disease...Marsha was a caregiver for her father who died from Alzheimer’s in April 2014…her caregiver insight and experience can often be seen and reflected in her poetry.
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“A Heavenly Birthday Wish”
For Stanton O. Berg
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On your birthday, be still.
You may not see or hear
and yet you will feel her near.
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Another birthday, another year
you continue to hold the banner high
A staunch advocate with no fear
you trod the path with Jesus nigh
---
to rid this world of the wretched disease
that stole your precious June away.
Love travels in a gentle breeze
from heaven to you each day.
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On your birthday, be still.
You may not see or hear
and yet you will feel her near.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - June 2014
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Stan's Notes: Marsha wrote this beautiful poem for my 86th birthday in 2014...June had been in her heavenly home for six (6) years on that 86th birthday...
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"June, You Walked Through This World With Me"
(June's valentine for Stan - 2003 - Undelivered!)
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"My Dear Stan
As I walk in the warmth of paradise
I reach through time for your hand
with perfect faith. I know…
You and I will be joined again.
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On that spring day when our eyes first met
I wondered, “Will we walk this world together?
Indeed we have— crisscrossing…
the blue, blue sea and the faraway lands.
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Time has waltzed with us in every dream,
every wish I ever had…to be a wife,
a mother, and a grandmother too…
All have been fulfilled in you, my dear Stan.
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When the darkness descended over my mind,
and I began to slip away, I never once feared
being alone or afraid. I knew…
you’d never leave my side.
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The day you found the undelivered Valentine…
with the printed words: “Hand in hand,
side by side, soul to soul, heart to heart”…
I wanted you to remember—
You and I will be joined again!”
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Marsha McKneely Ault - November 2013
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Stan's Notes: Marsha advised that after prayerful meditation while writing the above poem, “I felt impressed to have June speak to you”...Marsha's poem also has a references to an undelivered valentine from June to Stan that was not discovered until it was found on a Valentine's Day a few years later...Alzheimer's had affected June's memory to the extent that she forgot to deliver it in the year 2003 as intended...she had purchased it in 2002 and placed it in an envelope marked "Valentine's for 2003"...Marsha advised that she gave considerable thought to creating this poem for June. Marsha's preparation included reading and reviewing information about June's life as found in the essays and pages on June's website...this poem is the result and is featured on June's website page "June, You Walked Through This World With Me".
(The above poem was also a part of Stan's birthday tribute to June K. Berg and was published in the Sunday edition of the Minneapolis Star - Tribune, 10 November 2013.)
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"A Heaven's View"
To Stanton O. Berg
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If only the heavens could part
and we could see...
those who have crossed
into eternity.
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Here below on earth we feel
...sorrow, pain
our vision so limited...
we trudge alone each day.
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If we close our eyes...
we can feel , we can almost see.
Our beloved one watching over us...
from heavenly courts on high
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The anguish, the agony of today,
will pale in comparison to...
the wonderment, the joy...
of being reunited one day.
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Marsha Mckneely Ault - March 2014
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Stan's Notes: Marsha made the following comment that accompanied her poem: "It will happen Stanton, It will be the most wonderful moment when you and June are in each other's arms once more."
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" Coincidences"
This is for Stan
(Stained Glass Window - Old Chapel - Redeemer Lutheran Church)
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Moses’ hand lifted his rod to part the sea.
The children of Israel crossed over to be free.
A coincident? Insignificant?
Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego refused to bow
in the fire not a hair singed. . .how?
A coincident? Insignificant?
The tomb stench confirmed Lazarus was dead,
yet the Savior called him forth from his bed.
A coincident? Insignificant?
At June’s farewell, her daughter glimpsed a bird fly
“Precious, Lord, take my hand”, as she bid good bye.
A coincident? Insignificant?
Nay! It was done in the Lord’s way.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - September 2013
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Stan's Notes: This poem is a part of the page on this website called "Junes Faith - Crossing Over"...the reference to a bird flying comes from a story of June's funeral service where her daughter Julie reported seeing a bird fly across the front of the Redeemer Lutheran Church sanctuary during the service.
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"Take my Hand"
For Stanton and June
(June and Stan - 2006 -10th Year Alzheimer's)
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Like clock-work he came day after day
took her hand and prayed.
Painful though it was to not be remembered
he’d sing as she awakened from sweet slumber:
“Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand…
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light…”
Sensory inputs no longer recognized
by her dying brain, these words memorized
brought him solace and peace.
His heart pleaded for her agony to cease,
release her, oh please release,
so she can fly to heaven’s door
and be chained on earth no more
“Precious Lord, take my hand
Lead me on, let me stand…
Through the storm, through the night
Lead me on to the light...”
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Marsha McKneely Ault - April 2015
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Stan's Notes: This poem by Marsha was a special postscript added to June's page called "Singing to June - Sweet Hour of Prayer" In her poem, Marsha quotes some lines from the song: "Take My Hand Precious Lord",, a song that I would sing to June every day.
"Should Have, Could Have, Would Have"
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My dear, dear Love, it pains me so.
Way up above, I know you mourn…
because I left.. When you tear, I’m torn.
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I chose to leave with you at home.
I could not bear to grieve, to say one more goodbye.
My heart would have burst.
Instead, like a butterfly, I was set free.
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“Should have, could have, would have”— let it go.
I will be so glad, when we can say, “Hello!”
All wrapped in your arms, never let me go again.
You’ll protect me from harm, my dear, dear Stan.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - October 2014
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Stan's Notes: Marsha prefaced the above poem with these comments: " I wrote the...poem for a special friend of mine...Stan...I just wanted you to know that June loves you and waits for the day you two will be reunited in each other's arms..." ...
When My good friend Marsha wrote this beautiful poem, she utilized my earlier comments of remorse, regret and guilt... comments made after I missed being with June in her final hour...the nursing staff at the Benedictine did not feel that June would be in immediate danger before my usual morning arrival time of 9: AM....June died at 7 AM...leaving me with strong guilt feelings for not being with her...Marsha responded with a kind and thoughtful poetic commentary in the form of response from June!.
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"This is Not My Home"
(Marsha and Her Dad)
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This does not feel like my house.
It looks like the house that I built
with my own hands, but it isn’t.
I don’t know how they did it,
but this isn’t my home.
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My daughter tries to reassure me
by telling me that this is my house.
But I know it isn’t. She starts to cry,
and tells me that she loves me.
I know she loves me, but she does not
understand. This is not my home.
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One morning I load my truck and
leave before 5:30 A.M. I know
my daughter will be worried,
so I leave her a note.
I am going to go and find my house.
I drive and drive and drive.
---
I forget where I am. My cell phone
is dead. So I keep on driving
around and around and around.
I drive and drive and drive...
until darkness takes me hostage.
I don’t know how to get home.
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I see my name blinking upon a billboard.
My daughter’s looking for me.
Finally I am so tired and so lost, I pull
into a station. I remember a friend’s name.
The station man calls my friend.
They call my daughter. The police come.
My son-in-law comes to...
pick me up to take me home he says.
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I don’t want to go back...
to that house. It is not my home.
Why can’t they understand? I’m lost
I’m so tired...so disconnected.
I just want to go home.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - May 2015
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Stan's Notes: Marsha's poem is about a common symptom of the middle and later stages of Alzheimer's...it is common for the victims of this disease to talk of going home when they are already home...it is thought that perhaps they are referring to a childhood home...while their shot term memory is the first to go, their long term memory remains until the very late stage of the disease...eventually they have no memory at all...June also spoke of wanting to go home...Marsha has the following comments about her poem: “Stanton - I wrote this in remembrance of my Daddy. I hate Alzheimer's. I hate how it causes so much pain and sadness as it destroys an individual's heart and soul. Thank you for all you do to rid the earth of this dreaded disease…The hardest thing for me was no matter what I said or did, Daddy could not be reassured…I visited him every day wherever he was. He often thought I was NOT visiting him. He would forget…my Dad always recognized me, but he hallucinated and heard sounds and felt like I was trying to harm him. Sometimes he was angry....”
Marsha's Dad, Leonard Marshall McKneely,Sr., went to his heavenly home in April 2014.
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" My Brother Sleeps"
(Danny Carl McKneely)
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His eyes are closed.
His heart does not beat.
His ears are deaf.
His voice is silent.
His arms do not wrap about me...
to lift me off my feet.
His legs do not walk.
He is so very still.
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And yet. . .
even though his body rests,
the Spirit testifies to me
in a realm not far away...
his soul’s awake and lives!
Hallelujah, my God, my King!
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In a coming day...
his arms will wrap about me...
and lift me off my feet.
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Marsha McKneely Ault - April 2014
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Stan's Notes: Marsha wrote this poem for a page on June's Website on 1 April 2014....here is her note: “Stan. here is a poem that I wrote when my brother Danny died in December."... This poem was written as a "Reader's Comment" on June's website page: "Christian Believers...Asleep or in Heaven after Death."
Stan's Bible reference: 1 Corinthians 15:51-53 (NKJV) "Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed—... in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed...For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality..."
"Death may seize a believer, but it cannot hold him in its power. How many springs of joy to the saints, and of thanksgiving to God, are opened by the death and resurrection, the sufferings and conquests of the Redeemer!"
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“A Quiet Holiday At home “
(Free Will Baptist Church Choir)
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At Home All alone
I click on a video
and am completely blown
with the voices of heroes.
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One thousand member choir
sing on the state capitol steps,.
my immediate desire...
is myself there project
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With my walker and cane...
to help hold their banner.
“We Stand with God” and proclaim...
in joyous singing with no banter.
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Here in my home...
I sing along as if I were there.
Tears trickle, for I am not alone,
my Sweetheart June is near.
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Jesus is the Keeper of our souls
in Him we put our trust.
He’s in control...
and wait upon Him, we must.
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Marsha McKneely Ault.-.September 2015
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Stan’s Notes: Labor Day 2015 was a lonely day for me…then by accident I came upon a video of “The Free Will Baptist Church” of Spartanburg, SC holding a “Pro-Family Rally” on the South Carolina state capital steps at Columbia, SC…(29 August) their church choir of 1000 voices was singing a beautiful song, “I Am On the Winning Side”...behind them was their banner “Standing With God”…the crowd was estimated at 10,000 persons…the song video was so beautiful that I found myself playing and replaying it…this choir served to lift me out of my spell of sadness…when Marsha read my account of my Labor Day afternoon, she was prompted to write the above poem...see link below to the choir...
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"What I Wish For Christmas"
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(June with a Christmas Wreath
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When I hear a Christmas Carol,
June's presence fills the room.
As I glimpse the gas fire
I can smell her perfume.
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If only for a moment
I could see her smile,
caress her hand,
for just a little while.
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It would be the best,
the grandest gift
this ole gent could receive --
the cloud of loneliness would lift.
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(By Marsha McKneely Ault, Nacogdoches, Texas)
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"A Forever Friend"
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Heaven's greatest Gift
Is a Forever Friend
Whose Love and Support
He Continually Sends.
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When You're Down
And Feel a Little Blue
A Note, a Call, a Cheer
Can Really Lift You.
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He Sees the Good
And with a Breath of Kindness
He Blows the Rest Away.
Your Heart Overflows with Gladness.
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Words Cannot Express
Your Gratitude for Such a Friend,
His Trust, His Care, His Love -
Because Forever Has No End.
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(Written by Marsha for Stan's Story of "Best Friends")
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"I Want to Run with Jesus"
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One of My Children
Felt the Need to be Re-Baptized
Even Though at First
It Brought a Pang in My Heart,
At the Baptism Something Stirred
Deep Within My Soul -
The Words "I Want to Run With Jesus!"
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"I too Want to Run With Jesus",
But Am I Barely Placing My Feet
In His Steps as He Beckons Me
To Come and Follow Him?
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My Husband Found a Framed
Picture of The Savior in a Dumpster.
It Broke My Heart That Someone
Could Simply Toss Jesus
Away. It Was in Perfect Shape,
The Artwork and Frame Coated Only With Dust.
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I Took a Cloth and Wiped Away
The Debris of Neglect and
Watched it Disperse Into The Air.
I Reverently Hung the Sacred Frame
Upon My Wall.
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When Late in The Evening
A Call on My Cell Awakens Me.
"Can You Give a Ride to a Family
To Church on Sunday?" - I Remember
I'm Running With Jesus These Days
And Quickly Replied, "Yes! Yes!
I Certainly Can."
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""Walking Down Memory Lane"
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Walking Down Memory Lane
A Bubble Machine Spewing
Bubbles Across the Bandstand
"And a One and a Two"
Music Flows from Yesteryear
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One of my Favorite TV Reruns is -
"The Lawrence Welk Show"
Each Saturday Evening I Take -
A Walk Down Memory Lane
With My Lady Love Who Resides
In Heaven Above.
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The Words to The Theme Song
"Tiny Bubbles in The Wine"
Make Me Happy
Make Me Feel Fine
... "I'm Going to Love You
Till the End of Time."
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I Can Close My Eyes
And Almost Feel Taking
June's Hand in Mine
As We Waltz Across the Floor
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A Bubble Machine Spewing
Bubbles Across the Bandstand
"And a One and a Two"
Music Flows From Yesteryear
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Stans Note: Marsha was prompted to write this poem after noting that Stan always commented on his facebook page every Saturday that he would be watching that evening's Public Television hour long presentation of the "Lawrence Welk Show" and taking a trip down "Memory Lane" with June!
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"A New Mother"
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The Tapped Rythm of My Hand
Lulls You to Sleep
To The Natural Sway
Of Rocking Back and Forth,
You Purse Your Tiny Lips
As If You Are Nestled
At My Breast
In Sweet Slumber.
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I Ponder The Birth
Of Another Little Babe
In a Faraway Land, A Time Set
Long Ago in A Manger.
Perhaps A Young Mother
Tapped A Rhythm
With Her Hand That Lulled
Her Tiny Son
To The Natural Sway
Of Rocking Back And Forth
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Back And Forth.
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Stan's Note: Marsha was prompted to write this beautiful little poem following the birth of a son several years ago.
