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This Ole House - 6025 Gardena Lane - "Going Home"

June and Stan's home 

(This ole House - 6025 Gardena Lane)

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This original song by Stuart Hamblen in 1954 has been revised, altered and adapted to June and Stan’s home on 6025 Gardena Lane…this last home of June and Stan was built in 1966 and was June’s most beloved of all our homes…June and Stan selected the location for the home on the side of a small hill, participated in drawing the plans, and watched the construction and building of the home, a 3 bedroom split level home with 2 fireplaces, nestled into the side of the hill…

Family holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas created sounds of joy and laughter throughout the house as family, children and grandchildren filled the house to capacity…after almost 40 years, Alzheimer’s took June away from her beloved home and it now sits silent with only Stan, now a lonely old man…Stan even had special concrete steps and steel railings installed leading down the sloping lawn to the mailbox for convenience in their old age…but it was not to be…on 23 October 2008, after a 12 year journey into the shadows of Alzheimer's, June was called home to Heaven..."this ole house" has now passed its 50th birthday…

Yes, and as my 90th birthday approaches, I ain’t gonna need this house much longer…I’m getting ready to meet my June!

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June and Stan 1966

(June and Stan - 1966 - the year they  built "This Ole House") 

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"This Ole House - 6025 Gardena Lane"

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This old house once knew our children

This old house once knew my June…

This old house was our home and shelter ...

As we fought the storms of life...

This old house once rang with laughter.

This old house once echoed with shouts of joy...

This old house now trembles in the darkness...

When the night winds waltz about.

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I Ain't gonna need this house much longer.

I Ain't gonna need this house much more.

I Ain't got time to fix the floor.

I Ain't got time to oil the hinges,

Nor to clean the window panes.

I Ain't gonna need this house much longer.

I'm getting ready to meet my June.

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This old house is getting shaky.

This old house is getting old.

On winter days when it's cold...

I get a little chilly but I feel no fear nor pain.

Cause I can see an angel peeking through

A dirty window pane.

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I Ain't gonna need this house much longer.

I'm getting ready to meet my June...

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Stan Berg…(2015)

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June in frnt of fireplace

(June sitting in front of the downstairs fireplace - December 1994)

 

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"Wandering"  and Alzheimer's - "Going Home"

Searching for the past is often one of the Prime reasons for “wandering.” While the term “wandering” is commonly used to describe this Alzheimer's related action, it is a misleading term…There is a reason for the apparent wandering. As Alzheimer’s victims  gradually become more confused, they may wander off in search of someone, or something, relating to their past. This is consistent with their initial loss of their short term memory while still retaining their long term memory for a time…This may involve looking about for a marriage partner, a relative, a family member or a friend who has previously passed on. It may be a home or house that they lived in as a child.

It is common in the Alzheimer’s middle stages of this terrible disease, for the victim to wander and or drive about endlessly looking for their home…

The home where they are living at the time, is not the home they see or believe to be their home…

My good friend Dr. Don Fox confirmed to me that his wife Gloria would also want to "go home" when she already was home...Gloria at the time was in the middle stages of Alzheimer's...Gloria's life was later ended by complications of the disease after a long 15 year journey.

Another of my good friends Marsha McNeely Ault recently told of how her father another victim of Alzheimer’s, would endlessly seek to "find his home"…her father a Christian, is now in his Heavenly home…See Marsha's Reader's Comments below and the beautiful poem that she wrote in honor of her father...

This story of "wandering"  is is one of the most often repeated concerns among caregivers having loved ones who are victims of this disease and are searching for the past...

June many times in the middle later stages of her Alzheimer’s expressed the desire to "go home" although she was living in her home of 40 years…my and other family member's assurances that June was in fact home, fell on deaf ears.

Perhaps they who are Christians, are also looking for their heavenly home...and thanks to God they will soon find it…

This beautiful song (This World is Not My Home) by one of my favorite country artists, Gentleman Jim Reeves tells this story very well…

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"This World Is Not My Home"

This world is not my home
I'm just a-passing through
My treasures are laid up
Somewhere beyond the blue.

The angels beckon me
From heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home
In this world anymore.

Oh Lord, you know
I have no friend like you
If heaven's not my home
Then Lord what will I do.

I have a loving mother
Just up in Gloryland
And I don't expect to stop
Until I shake her hand.

She's waiting now for me
In heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home
In this world anymore.

The angels beckon me
From heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home
In this world anymore...


(A few Paragraphs edited out to shorten length)

 

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Reader’s Comments

Jan Allen - Norwich, Norfolk, United Kingdom – (26 March 2015):Once again Stan I'm very moved by your words . I'm sure that June would have been very proud of the way that you've tirelessly continued the work that you had started together.”

Shirley Duke – Glasgow, Kentucky – (26 March 2015): “Stan touching as always, what a great love you & June must have had!!”

Brenda Stevens - Hanover, Ohio – (26 March 2015): “love this, haven’t heard this in years. Stan bless you for posting this…are awesome!!”  (This Ole House)

Vicki Reeves –Azle, Texas – (26 March 2015): “Thank you Stanton! I wish for you to have many more happy years on this earth! I think it's wonderful how you put yours and June's life into the songs. Everyone relates to music in different ways and you have a really unique way of showing how you still care for your wonderful wife in the songs you choose! God Bless you and I pray for comfort and Peace for you.”

Helen Russin – Martins Ferry, Ohio – (26 March 2015): “Thank you Stan! Your posts always warms our hearts!”

Jackie Wynne Boyde – Northhampton, Northhamptonshire, United Kingdom – (27 March 2015): ”Lovely words , from a loving husband . Your June is smiling down on you . Love can last forever and after .

Patricia Speck- Cardiff, United Kingdom – (27 March 2015): “I remember that song well Stan., it was a big hit over here. I remember singing it as a child. Love your version Stan.....June would be so proud of you..”  (This Ole House)

Sherrie Penner  - Cokato, Minnesota - (7 Apri 2015): "That was awesome!"

Diana Perera  - Colombo, Sri Lanka - (5 May 2015): "True - we left our home in the capital because we can't live in an upstair house. Rented a place just out of the city. My late husband was always saying "Let's go home". I used to ask home? Where? This is our home. He would give me a puzzled look. Another time he said he wants to go home and I asked where. He got annoyed and said - give me some money, I will go! So sad wen things like this happen.

Marsha McKneely Ault

Marsha McKneely Ault  - Nacogdoches, Texas – (5 May 2015): “Stanton - I wrote this in remembrance of my Daddy. I hate Alzheimer's. I hate how it causes so much pain and sadness as it destroys an individual's heart and soul. Thank you for all you do to rid the earth of this dreaded disease…

The hardest thing for me was no matter what I said or did, Daddy could not be reassured…I visited him every day wherever he was. He often thought I was NOT visiting him. He would forget…my Dad always recognized me, but he hallucinated and heard sounds and felt like I was trying to harm him. Sometimes he was angry. One day he threw his walker at me...”

(Marsha's Dad , Leonard Marshall McKneely, Sr., went to his heavenly home in April 2014.)

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This Is Not My Home

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This does not feel like my house.
It looks like the house that I built
with my own hands, but it isn’t.
I don’t know how they did it,
but this isn’t my home.

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My daughter tries to reassure me
by telling me that this is my house,
but I know it isn’t. She starts to cry,
and tells me that she loves me.
I know she loves me, but she does not
understand. This is not my home.

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One morning I load my truck and
leave before 5:30 A.M. I know
my daughter will be worried,
so I leave her a note. I am going
to go and find my house.
I drive and drive and drive.

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I forget where I am. My cell phone
is dead. So I keeping driving
around and around and around.
I drive and drive and drive
until darkness takes me hostage.
I don’t know how to get home

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I see my name blinking upon a billboard.
My daughter’s looking for me.
Finally I am so tired and so lost, I pull
into a station. I remember a friend’s name.
The station man calls my friend.
They call my daughter. The police come.
They take my guns. My son-in-law
comes to pick me up to take me home he says.

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I don’t want to go back...
to that house. It is not my home.
Why can’t they understand? I’m lost.
I’m so tired. I feel like vapor—
so disconnected. I just want to go home.

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Marsha and her Father

(Marsha and her Dad)

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Teresa Mayo  - Ansonia, Ohio - (5 May 2015): "My mom kept asking to go home also. It's so sad."

Elaine Horsfield Duggan  - Coine, United Kingdom - (5 May 2015): "My husband does similar he recognises everything as his and knows the address but constantly wants to go home? We have lived here for many years and says I've decorated and made all the houses the same to confuse him."

Angela Brown  - Burnley, Lancashire, United Kingdom - (5 May 2015): "Same with my Mum Stanton."

Darla Thakkar - Missouri City, Texas - (8 May 2015): "Wow- the part about feeling tired and like vapor....sad."

Ann Farr- Wrexham, United Kingdom - (9 May 2015): "Thanks for sharing this Stanton I'm sure it will resonate with a lot of people."

Marie Langley - Victoria, British Columbia - (9 May 2015): "Lovely poem. Paints such a compelling picture and helps people understand what it feels like..."

Siobhan Mc Cormic - Belfast, United Kingdom - (9 May 2015): "Beautiful." 

Karen Briesemeister - Fridley, Minnesota - (9 May 2015): "Stan, This is another beautiful, but so sad, poem by your friend Marsha.  It touched my heart. Karen."

Sam Eccleshare - Bollton, United Kingdom - (10 May 2015): "Very good! but there is no way My Mum could have guns....she would have shot me! She thought Id 'stolen' her house for quite a while!"

Patricia Speck - Cardiff, United Kingdom - (10 May 2015):"That's is an amazing poem full of insight into the heart of the one who is losing his/her memory.....slowly but surely, little by little. It's so very sad and so heart wrenching. The sooner a breakthrough in curing this disease the better."

 

 

 

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 June's Passing

June 1994

After an almost 12 year journey into the shadows of Alzheimer's, early one morning in late October 2008, an exhausted June felt God's gentle touch on her shoulder and heard the words: "Come Home June!" As June lay like a wounded soldier on a battlefield, it was God's Angels that ushered June into a Heavenly Kingdom to the sound of a chorus of Angels...and into June's new home, a "Mansion on the Hilltop", where there is no pain, nor illness nor tears...June's funeral notice as published in the Minneapolis Star in October 2008 can be seen on this website in the drop down menu under the "In Memoriam" label - just Click on:

"June K. (Rolstad) Berg - In Memoriam"